Ever since tk_rtmt told me to 'Get. A. Virus. Scanner. Now.', I have listened. (This was, of course, after she talked my dad and I through how to strip a computer of well, everything, over the phone to fix a virus problem).

However, yesterday, I deleted my university-installed virus scanner. Why? Because I thought I had another one, from ntl.

Turns out I didn't, and when I downloaded it, the stupid thing told me I have to be connected to the ntl network for it to be any use. Of course I do - but my ntl connection is in Cardiff and my Devon connection is via BT.

And then, because I'm really stupid, I went searching for a crack. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I went into the most virus-addled land on the Internet with no Virus Scanner.

Anyway...Google search hits now keep throwing up random website. The McAfee free trial I downloaded found six; AVG Anti-Spyware has found 348 and it's not done yet.

Yes, I know I'm an idiot.